This week, Mother Nature decided to pull a fast one on me. If you believe the Hallmark Cards and National Geographic Magazine, you might assume that Mother Nature is a kind-hearted old lady. If you think that, you are wrong! Mother Nature is a hustler, and this week she conned me like a pro.
If you live in the area, you might have noticed that the weather in Washington D.C. was unseasonably warm last week. I took this as a blessing, since the alternative would have involved me spending lots of time either a) manually shoveling snow since I am too cheap to buy a snow blower for my tiny driveway, or b) sitting in the waiting room of my chiropractor's office with other cheapskates, because I threw my back out shoveling snow! I realize that winter only officially began a few weeks ago, but I have been quite content to leave my scarf and gloves at home and enjoy the warm New Year weather.
I just wish my sinuses agreed with me.
Some people have "trick knees" that act up when the weather changes. I happen to have a "trick head" instead (lucky me!). It seems like every time a major front moves into the area, my sinuses decide that they have a fiduciary responsibility to let me know about it. I appreciate my sinuses’ courtesy, just like I appreciate it every morning, when my cat loudly informs me that my alarm is going to go off in an hour or two. Sometimes three (cats don't understand daylight savings). These acts of courtesy are very annoying, but at least my cat is cute and fuzzy, so she can get away with it.
If you live in the area, you might have noticed that the weather in Washington D.C. was unseasonably warm last week. I took this as a blessing, since the alternative would have involved me spending lots of time either a) manually shoveling snow since I am too cheap to buy a snow blower for my tiny driveway, or b) sitting in the waiting room of my chiropractor's office with other cheapskates, because I threw my back out shoveling snow! I realize that winter only officially began a few weeks ago, but I have been quite content to leave my scarf and gloves at home and enjoy the warm New Year weather.
I just wish my sinuses agreed with me.
Some people have "trick knees" that act up when the weather changes. I happen to have a "trick head" instead (lucky me!). It seems like every time a major front moves into the area, my sinuses decide that they have a fiduciary responsibility to let me know about it. I appreciate my sinuses’ courtesy, just like I appreciate it every morning, when my cat loudly informs me that my alarm is going to go off in an hour or two. Sometimes three (cats don't understand daylight savings). These acts of courtesy are very annoying, but at least my cat is cute and fuzzy, so she can get away with it.
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| See? Being cute and fuzzy justifies annoying behavior. |
Earlier this week, I arrived home from work with a pounding headache (which I mistook for caffeine withdrawal, but that’s a story for another post), so I popped some Sudafed, and hoped for the best. The next day at work, the siege against my poor sinuses continued. All afternoon, my head throbbed and I strained to avoid the bright, sterile, energy-efficient lighting in my office. I thought some hot herbal tea may help with the congestion, but mostly I sat around massaging my temples and rubbing my eyes.
Yes, rubbing my eyes.
In the middle of cold and flu season, too!
It was an idiotic thing to do; almost as stupid as ordering mussels in a hotel restaurant (which is also a story for another post). When I woke up the next morning, my right eye was so irritated and full of shmutz that I could not even open it. I had pink eye, and I am pretty darned sure I gave it to myself! At least the last time that I had pink eye, it was someone else's fault. Tigger's fault, specifically. Yes, that Tigger.
When I was in college, I spent a semester working at Walt Disney World in Florida. One of my roommates named Curtis worked in the Entertainment department, and he was "close personal friends" with Tigger. I'm not sure if he got pink eye from a guest at one of the theme parks, or if he picked it up from a coworker, or if the bacteria was just lurking around on the inside of the costumes he had to wear on his head, but he got a really bad case of pink eye. So bad, in fact, that he had to call in sick from work (which is a big deal when you only make $6.25 per hour). He spent the whole day in our apartment, watching television, rubbing his infected eyes, and touching everything in the apartment that he could get his hands on! As one would expect, I was soon infected with a bad case of baterical conjunctivitis as well, and had to go to the doctor for medication (which is also a big deal when you only make $6.25 per hour). The only saving grace was that, to this day, I can still tell people that I got pink eye from Tigger.
In the middle of cold and flu season, too!
It was an idiotic thing to do; almost as stupid as ordering mussels in a hotel restaurant (which is also a story for another post). When I woke up the next morning, my right eye was so irritated and full of shmutz that I could not even open it. I had pink eye, and I am pretty darned sure I gave it to myself! At least the last time that I had pink eye, it was someone else's fault. Tigger's fault, specifically. Yes, that Tigger.
When I was in college, I spent a semester working at Walt Disney World in Florida. One of my roommates named Curtis worked in the Entertainment department, and he was "close personal friends" with Tigger. I'm not sure if he got pink eye from a guest at one of the theme parks, or if he picked it up from a coworker, or if the bacteria was just lurking around on the inside of the costumes he had to wear on his head, but he got a really bad case of pink eye. So bad, in fact, that he had to call in sick from work (which is a big deal when you only make $6.25 per hour). He spent the whole day in our apartment, watching television, rubbing his infected eyes, and touching everything in the apartment that he could get his hands on! As one would expect, I was soon infected with a bad case of baterical conjunctivitis as well, and had to go to the doctor for medication (which is also a big deal when you only make $6.25 per hour). The only saving grace was that, to this day, I can still tell people that I got pink eye from Tigger.
But back to my original story...
I'm pretty good about washing my hands. I always wash my hands before eating or after using the restroom, but did I make sure to wash my hands before rubbing my germ-infested paws all around my mucous membrane-surrounded peepers? No sir.
I know that there are germs all around my office (especially during cold and flu season, when my office just happens to be full of people with the cold and flu), but have I forgotten about all of the signs that sprouted up in 2009, which implored the masses to wash their hands and stop the spread of swine flu? You betcha.
I'm pretty good about washing my hands. I always wash my hands before eating or after using the restroom, but did I make sure to wash my hands before rubbing my germ-infested paws all around my mucous membrane-surrounded peepers? No sir.
I know that there are germs all around my office (especially during cold and flu season, when my office just happens to be full of people with the cold and flu), but have I forgotten about all of the signs that sprouted up in 2009, which implored the masses to wash their hands and stop the spread of swine flu? You betcha.
You know why I gave myself pink eye? Because nobody said to me "Hey Lee, don't rub your eyes, dude! Your hands are covered with office germs, and it is cold season, and you'll just give yourself pink eye." It just goes to show that it doesn't matter how well someone communicates, if the audience is not listening. Or if the audience is an idiot. With pink eye.
Who knows, maybe because of me, they'll be a warning somewhere. Not sure where they would put it, though. Maybe on a Hallmark card.
Speaking of cards, Happy MLK Day everyone!
-Lee
-Lee
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